Project: Tabula Rasa

Well as many of you know, my life has literally been spinning like a top and taking me along for the ride these last few years. As a result I have rebooted my writing and figured out new methods that push me, in most cases, push me to just not stop. I left a very successful job because of family concerns, I was in a dead end tech job that didn't even have benefits and exhausted my savings while living in a house that afforded me no privacy, I moved across country twice and felt helpless, I went between feeling like an invisible piece of furniture, ignored and neglected while trying to keep my head above water, to having to take care of my Dad while everyone continued to expect super hero like fortitude from me mentally. Finally after four years of living that way, I felt like I had an opportunity to escape, my brother was caring for my Dad full time now, I had a job opportunity that would allow me to get back into the field that I love, with benefits and good pay.. All I had to do was uproot and move again, and destroy my credit rating to do it.

Nothing is as important as being happy. Tosses a farewell salute to Excellent Credit.

So I moved. From Utah to Pennsylvania, back to Utah and now I am settled in Michigan.

During this odyssey I have combated writers block the likes of which I hadn't even known existed. Oh, I still wrote, but my work wasn't quality and I easily lost interest, and it all culminated at the end of September when my computer crashed, nothing could be recovered, the operating system cannibalized itself.

I am starting from scratch. And as heartbreaking as it is, I'm excited. I have a fantastic new computer, and my new desk should arrive Wednesday. I have been given the gift of a Blank Slate. And so I give you Project Tabula Rasa. With absolutely nothing to work with I am going to stretch your mental faculties a bit, much like an athlete before training or competition will stretch out muscles, tendons and ligaments. That means that I am going to freely exorcise my vocabulary knowing full well that most people have trouble keeping up.

The Blank Slate. It startles me to realize how something so simple, first introduced to me in my college economics class has come back to my inner playground so frequently.

In the past I have talked about taking inspiration from every aspect of the world around me, I don't passively interact with my world, I own my world, I own my words, I own my actions. And no one, outside of myself can take either the blame or the credit for who I am and what I do. I do not bow to the will of my peers or my colleagues.

I am Queen.

Project: Tabula Rasa, is in part a technique used to combat writers block. But it can be applied to almost any aspect of your life. Its a Cathartic process based in meditation and action.

Most times Writer's Block stems from a lack of confidence, the uncertainty of not being in control. We blame it on many things, but in the end it is a personal issue and it can't be resolved without confronting the person responsible. You.

Rather than changing where you are when you work, which may work, as many acknowledge the power of simply changing your physical location, we are writers, and entire universes exist in each of our interiorem mundi, at the center of which is our writing space, our desks and chairs act as the axis mundi. We have the ability to shape the world around us.

So stand up and survey your domain.

If you don't see a realm of creativity then it is time to create. But its not words on paper you will be crafting.

Look around your space, do you even have a designated space where you write? Do you have an office? Are you in a corner of the garage? An attic? A basement? Small desk off the kitchen? Can you readily identify it as your Fortress of Solitude?

I share my space, even in my new home I have roommates and not so much as a hidden corner that is mine and mine alone, unless I want to set up in the closet, but I'm claustrophobic so don't even ask me why I don't do that. So when I assemble my desk it will have to go in the living room, beside the sliding glass doors and about ten feet from the television. Not exactly ideal, but I can make it work.

To begin with, remove everything, take it all out, clean the space then move it back, rearrange or replace items that no longer work for you. But for this to work you have to empty the space first, else-wise if you are like the rest of the world you will quit before your done. For me that means clearing away a couple boxes and emptying the built in shelves. I now have about 4 feet squared to work with.

With the space empty, leave for an hour, or a day. This will help stop you from puting everything back in the exact same places. When you come back, look closely and then set up your desk first. Not the computer, none of the rest. Just your desk in the empty space. Does it feel like its coming home? If not, figure out why. Is it too big? Too small? Too old? Too new? Too mass-produced? Maybe it just isn't you.

Remember that in writing your desk is your Axis Mundi, your center, the heart of your creative universe.  So think back, if you could change anything about your desk what would it be?

For me, I am a little in love with the styles found in early twentieth century furniture and buildings, to me things made after 1950 have no soul or individuality, I would kill for my mom's old Victorian secretary's desk, but at the same time that particular piece would feel too narrow and too tall for me. So while I will look for an antique, I bought something that has the same feel that antiques have, instead of today's prefabricated computer desks that have stayed the same chunky nightmare since 1986 gave us the PC.

For my desk itself, I have chosen the parson or secretary style, the desk is solid wood, and not particle board (MDF) but a dark walnut. It has a single drawer with a brushed nickel knob that I'll replace, likely with something glass and bohemian looking. I've given it some thought and I'll put a shawl over the surface of the desk to protect it and liven it up. On the desk itself I'll have my laptop and a second monitor, this is so I can write while I do something else, so that whenever I am at the computer my writing can stay open and I can toss in notes.. Like playing World of Warcraft, I'll be able to write while I wait for a flight to finish or a cut scene to end. Decoratively on the desk in place of a desk lamp I'll put a Himalayan Salt Lamp, my stationary holder and a small sample of my pen collection with one of my journals, because I won't always write on the computer. If I had an actual secretary I would set out my calligraphy nib pens and an ink well. On my list of things to buy is a desk pad that looks like the desk mats from the days of fountain pens, so I can eliminate a mouse pad

That makes the desk my space, I still don't have a chair so I'm borrowing from the dining set, I don't really know what I want in a chair, I'm thinking a student style one so that its unobtrusive for the rest of the room. But for creative influence now you have to examine the rest of your space or room. Minimize the extra furniture, if you had anything else in your space, weigh whether or not it helps you in your writing. It is a little bit of a struggle because I cant do half of what I would do if I had an office my printer for instance has to be tucked away in the basement or attached to a roommate's computer, but decoratively speaking I do have two walls that I can play with.

On the wall my desk is facing already hangs a favorite piece of art depicting the transparent image of a woman praying in a canyon with a lone tree behind her (description doesn't do it justice, its chalk and charcoal, water color..) I'll likely hang a small shelf below the picture so I can set out some crystals. The wall to the left of this space includes several built in shelves, and my roommates give me carte blanche when it comes to setting things out and decorating, so I will clean out the shelves and tuck in a few books that I love, some bottles and statues and set up my altare musa on the lowest shelf. With statuary and the like on the upper shelves. This will sufficiently claim the space.

Altare Musa? That is an Altar to the Muse, which has been something I have indulged for a long time, it feels right, and it takes many different forms to reflect the well that I draw creativity from.. basically a shelf with items that inspire on it. This time it will hold my copy of Peter Pan (the book), my Brian Froud art books, my Moroccan inspired glass bottles, cut geode book ends, the willow tree figurine that embodies creativity to me, so "Muse" and I'll back light it with fairy lights (christmas lights).

I'm very fond of a Romani/Gypsy/Bohemian/Moroccan feel to my creative space, but since this is a common room I have to try to stick with the neutrals and blues from the rest of the space, or things that won't look terrible with it.

If I'm in the mood I'll set out my wine decanter, or make a cup of tea or coffee, my vape (electronic cigarette). In the drawer goes headache medication, my inhaler and the assorted Hershey mini-candy bars, ande's mints, a protein bar and cough drops. Or at least that's the plan. I'll post pictures after everything comes and I get it set up.

Hopefully having my own space set up the way I want it, will start to push my creative buttons. rebuilding from scratch isn't easy. But if the length of this post is any indicator, its a start.