My Mother Passed Away

Dealing with the passing of a loved one is never easy. In my case, I was not particularly close with my mother. I loved her, we had a ton in common, and I admired her. But she hadn't been a fixture in my life since I was thirteen.

Her death was unexpected, she never told any of us kids that anything was wrong. So when the call came in at 9 pm from an unknown number, I very nearly declined to answer it, then the 307 area code registered and I thought "That's Wyoming, maybe Mom has a new number." You see mom changed her number a lot. The coroner broke the news and I was left to inform my siblings and find my way across the country in order to clean up her house (she was renting) and attend to her belongings.

Let me tell you, that phrase "I was not particularly close.." normally I would ascribe that to just about everyone in my family. I was the only girl so I never had much in common with my brothers, I still hold that my father is the most sexist man I have ever known. And while it is easy to say that my family and I aren't close, that wasn't always the case, we were the poor family in a rich neighborhood so in a lot of ways my siblings and I were forced to grow up close because we were isolated. And in the time following my mothers death, never have I ever been more grateful to have these four wonderful men who are my brothers in my life.

I had planned on handling all the details alone, I knew that at least two of my brothers were planning on showing up to help, but I arrived two days ahead of them with the hope of getting a fast start. However, plans don't usually work out 100% as we intend and when I arrived in Wyoming the situation was just so heartbreaking. I called my older brother in Utah and filled him in on everything, and in spite of just having gotten home from a funeral in Oregon he got off the phone with me and drove through terrible winter conditions in order to get to me in Wyoming because it was "wrong" to have me there by myself. This was really fantastic because two of my other brothers my oldest brother flew from California to Denver and encountered the same blizzard during his drive which delayed him another day, and my little brother who was driving up from Texas hit the same storm. My older brother Ian was prepared to drive out from Washington but my oldest brother talked him out of it, he was available by phone and facebook messenger for every major decision and on point to get paperwork signed and returned to Wyoming within hours of any request.

So this post is more than a shout out to my brothers in recognition of what has shaped my idyllic image of family. I am back home in Michigan a little more than a month later, my Mom's milk glass collection and cremated remains have joined the things in my writing area, and I have a new respect for all things family.

Homework: What?

Hey crew, I'm still working on Mike's Book.

This latest section talked about knowing what you like, and what you want to write. Then also how important it is to read other successful books in the genre that you want to play with and be a part of. In business it would be "knowing your market."

The analytical process of understanding, why we like the books we like, the methods employed by the authors to draw us in and invest us in a character or situation, methods where we are shown and not told. The tool that an author makes the best use of comes from reading what is already in circulation, and no that isn't pithy.

My number one complaint is the decisive lack of new authors in my favorite genre, oh I'm sure that they are out there, but I like thick books and sagas, I'm particularly fond of well researched historical fiction, alternate universe fiction, high fantasy, mysteries/suspense/thrillers, and romance stories that fall into a series historical or modern as long as they follow a family or group of friends, and yes I even love YA Fiction, I'm an escapist.

Being an escapist means that I am always reading something. Mike says that I should take the queues and analyze why and how the author succeeded in wrapping me in knots so that I can apply them to my own writing.

Funny, when I was in school I never thought of Book Reports as a way to improve my writing, but it is a thing. So get a composition notebook ready for when you do your reading.

Title:
Author:
Pages:
Main Character:
What I Liked:
Why:
What I didn't like:
Why:

Its funny how blank your mind goes when you are forced to answer questions. Then after a few books are recorded, review your notes and try to incorporate your likes into a story, try building suspense using these techniques.

Homework: Why?

Mike's book is finally setting the scene. And I think that I will use a small journal to record things in if his first exercise is any indication, as I have played with the idea of creating an Inspiration Book I may as well start.

Chapter One begins with the Blank page dilemma. before digressing a bit into its subject, he talks about writing with no care for your grammar, passive voice or redundant words. Save that for the Edit phase,  the rough draft is all about getting words on paper. Which we have all been told to do since the first time we were ever asked to write a story at school.

He begins with his first exercise:

So in my Journal I am going to pull out all the stops, all the stuff I keep at hand to motivate me in writing, I have a small hard bound sketchbook that is perfect for this. I'll take out my dip pen set, my water color pencils, and do it right.

"First I write for myself, to quiet the chaos of my mind, then I write to create, to be the creatrix of worlds and lore, to honor scribes of the past and to inspire those who might take on the Craft in the future. I write to share these unknown worlds with people, to teach and to grow. What is more I write so that I may be inspired by the world in which I live."

That is of course the rough version, I'll pretty it up and maybe turn it into a poem then put it in my sketch book with some little illumination style embellishments, I'm a terrible artist so it will be simple.

My Homework

I got the book "Writing advice for Teens: Creating Stories" by Mike Kalmbach on Kindle unlimited, and I started to read, the first few pages were a sort of "about the author" and a cheer-leading section "ignore what others say you can do it!" He uses more cheer-leading to express the importance of not forgoing college, he even made some suggestions on courses that could further ones writing.

Getting Started: General advice for any beginning writer. Methods for helping you start writing like a professional.

Strategies for generating ideas: How to overcome the sometimes-daunting blank page. Learn how to create story ideas from scratch.

Story Construction: Basic story structure to help you frame ideas and develop an outline.

Typical writing problems: Showcases common writing problems and how to recognize and resolve them.

FAQs.

 Well, not very exciting to me. And everything that I expect in a book on writing. Absolutely no hook on that line. But then, I'm judgy and I haven't gotten to the meat and potatoes yet. As far as academic writing is concerned, for me this is no great surprise.

Chapter One starts and the line Mike has dropped is finally set with a hook.

A little home work

A few nights back, after work, I was sucked into the internet. I broke down and read the last 40 years worth of interviews conducted between the media and Stephen King, including his family. I have never been a "King Fan" its not a genre that I get into, I just don't scare easily; aside from that there is something in his writing style, word use and choices in plot device that are a literary turn off for me. Though with my most recent move, I have found myself embracing the art that goes into good horror, mostly because friends and the new roommate are avid fans, but while I don't enjoy it, I understand it a lot better. And while I am rebuilding myself I thought that I would take a look at some parts of the Craft that I have ignored. 'Lo and behold I found that Stephen King wrote an awesome book on the subject of writing, now I don't normally read this kind of book, but I have read a lot of things that I generally don't care for, so what does it hurt? I hated this sort of book in college it felt so pointless and it was obvious that the same info I learned in the sixth grade was going to be rambled back at me, on repeat, ad nausea.

So as a sort of double blind I am going to take two books on writing and writing theory both with the end goal of taking rough to published.

The first book is "Writing advice for Teens: Creating Stories" by Mike Kalmbach, he heads up a large writing group in Minnesota as well as several online forums on the subject. I chose this book firstly because it was free with Kindle Unlimited while available for purchase in print and secondly because the tone in his writing is familiar, similar to the tone I use when I write.

The Second book will be "On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the Craft" by Stephen King, a well known author, married to an author and two out of his three children, plus his daughter-in-law are all writers. While there is something in his writing style that turns me off, there is no denying his general success in the field, particularly when weighed against the fact that he holds a degree in the subject.

Wish me luck, as I fully plan on dragging you through these books with me!

Writing again

Hello there!

I have written many times on my focus of the writing environment, and I have almost finished crafting my writing space to be an inspirational font. I feel that I have to say, no matter what goals you have, you should never let an objective (such as my writing space) interfere with the goal (writing). I certainly haven't, I keep writing and have a few ideas fermenting in anticipation of NaNoWriMo and hope to be able to list a few of my projects on Amazon and Barns&Noble by this time next year.

 My writing area now has my Altare Musa assembled, the desk which is a small Parson's Writing Table with just enough space for my laptop, a second monitor and a mouse. As I said before it isn't in a private space so I have to keep things cohesive to my living area but still have some inspirational items around me, it takes creativity. For anyone looking to set up a space for writing, my advise is to first claim the space, decorate it so that you can easily close your eyes and feel like you are in a different place or time. Then include:

A Blank Journal or Notebook - this is to represent all the stories that have never been written. Its handy when you are at the point of starting something new. Just pick up the book, flip through its pages and visualize it full of words, run the gamut, when you have that oh so important first sentence figured out, turn back to your computer, type writer, or the paper that you will actually be writing on and begin to scribe.

A Notebook - This one is for general use, so you can take it with you and even write those first words in it.

A Catty of 3x5 Index cards - You can use these to scribble odd ideas or plot points on, maybe even ideas you have for new characters.

An 8x10 picture frame - This is for your current project, the internet is full of pictures. Find one that starts those gears turning, something that acts as a visual queue for what you are writing and print it out. This is particularly helpful if you don't have a window, or if your view is lousy.

The Writers Block - You read all over the internet "writer's block is what happens when your imaginary friends won't talk to you." (Mary Papas) it is really the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing. In other words Ennui "a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement" is what we creative types are experiencing. To represent the Block keep something heavy and solid at hand, a block of wood, a brick, a rock (or pet rock), or even a crystal ball. This gives you that reminder that when things start to slow down you should get up and do something before they grind to a halt, additionally if writers block does set in you can remove it from your desk as a physical way of removing a psychological barrier, and in the case of the block of wood you might even think about burning it, or with a rock you might take it out and toss it in a lake, the crystal ball I would just move to another room for a while. My mother quotes Ruth Burke at us kids all the time "Only boring people get bored" so have a plan for when you need to change it up.

An Anatomy Doll - Like the pose-able kind artists have. These figures have uses a mile long, first when you have a lull in writing you have something you can do with your hands, second you can name it and talk through whats going on, get that silent second opinion and three it will give your desk a point of interest so people who poke around won't always be reading over your shoulder.

Project: Tabula Rasa

Well as many of you know, my life has literally been spinning like a top and taking me along for the ride these last few years. As a result I have rebooted my writing and figured out new methods that push me, in most cases, push me to just not stop. I left a very successful job because of family concerns, I was in a dead end tech job that didn't even have benefits and exhausted my savings while living in a house that afforded me no privacy, I moved across country twice and felt helpless, I went between feeling like an invisible piece of furniture, ignored and neglected while trying to keep my head above water, to having to take care of my Dad while everyone continued to expect super hero like fortitude from me mentally. Finally after four years of living that way, I felt like I had an opportunity to escape, my brother was caring for my Dad full time now, I had a job opportunity that would allow me to get back into the field that I love, with benefits and good pay.. All I had to do was uproot and move again, and destroy my credit rating to do it.

Nothing is as important as being happy. Tosses a farewell salute to Excellent Credit.

So I moved. From Utah to Pennsylvania, back to Utah and now I am settled in Michigan.

During this odyssey I have combated writers block the likes of which I hadn't even known existed. Oh, I still wrote, but my work wasn't quality and I easily lost interest, and it all culminated at the end of September when my computer crashed, nothing could be recovered, the operating system cannibalized itself.

I am starting from scratch. And as heartbreaking as it is, I'm excited. I have a fantastic new computer, and my new desk should arrive Wednesday. I have been given the gift of a Blank Slate. And so I give you Project Tabula Rasa. With absolutely nothing to work with I am going to stretch your mental faculties a bit, much like an athlete before training or competition will stretch out muscles, tendons and ligaments. That means that I am going to freely exorcise my vocabulary knowing full well that most people have trouble keeping up.

The Blank Slate. It startles me to realize how something so simple, first introduced to me in my college economics class has come back to my inner playground so frequently.

In the past I have talked about taking inspiration from every aspect of the world around me, I don't passively interact with my world, I own my world, I own my words, I own my actions. And no one, outside of myself can take either the blame or the credit for who I am and what I do. I do not bow to the will of my peers or my colleagues.

I am Queen.

Project: Tabula Rasa, is in part a technique used to combat writers block. But it can be applied to almost any aspect of your life. Its a Cathartic process based in meditation and action.

Most times Writer's Block stems from a lack of confidence, the uncertainty of not being in control. We blame it on many things, but in the end it is a personal issue and it can't be resolved without confronting the person responsible. You.

Rather than changing where you are when you work, which may work, as many acknowledge the power of simply changing your physical location, we are writers, and entire universes exist in each of our interiorem mundi, at the center of which is our writing space, our desks and chairs act as the axis mundi. We have the ability to shape the world around us.

So stand up and survey your domain.

If you don't see a realm of creativity then it is time to create. But its not words on paper you will be crafting.

Look around your space, do you even have a designated space where you write? Do you have an office? Are you in a corner of the garage? An attic? A basement? Small desk off the kitchen? Can you readily identify it as your Fortress of Solitude?

I share my space, even in my new home I have roommates and not so much as a hidden corner that is mine and mine alone, unless I want to set up in the closet, but I'm claustrophobic so don't even ask me why I don't do that. So when I assemble my desk it will have to go in the living room, beside the sliding glass doors and about ten feet from the television. Not exactly ideal, but I can make it work.

To begin with, remove everything, take it all out, clean the space then move it back, rearrange or replace items that no longer work for you. But for this to work you have to empty the space first, else-wise if you are like the rest of the world you will quit before your done. For me that means clearing away a couple boxes and emptying the built in shelves. I now have about 4 feet squared to work with.

With the space empty, leave for an hour, or a day. This will help stop you from puting everything back in the exact same places. When you come back, look closely and then set up your desk first. Not the computer, none of the rest. Just your desk in the empty space. Does it feel like its coming home? If not, figure out why. Is it too big? Too small? Too old? Too new? Too mass-produced? Maybe it just isn't you.

Remember that in writing your desk is your Axis Mundi, your center, the heart of your creative universe.  So think back, if you could change anything about your desk what would it be?

For me, I am a little in love with the styles found in early twentieth century furniture and buildings, to me things made after 1950 have no soul or individuality, I would kill for my mom's old Victorian secretary's desk, but at the same time that particular piece would feel too narrow and too tall for me. So while I will look for an antique, I bought something that has the same feel that antiques have, instead of today's prefabricated computer desks that have stayed the same chunky nightmare since 1986 gave us the PC.

For my desk itself, I have chosen the parson or secretary style, the desk is solid wood, and not particle board (MDF) but a dark walnut. It has a single drawer with a brushed nickel knob that I'll replace, likely with something glass and bohemian looking. I've given it some thought and I'll put a shawl over the surface of the desk to protect it and liven it up. On the desk itself I'll have my laptop and a second monitor, this is so I can write while I do something else, so that whenever I am at the computer my writing can stay open and I can toss in notes.. Like playing World of Warcraft, I'll be able to write while I wait for a flight to finish or a cut scene to end. Decoratively on the desk in place of a desk lamp I'll put a Himalayan Salt Lamp, my stationary holder and a small sample of my pen collection with one of my journals, because I won't always write on the computer. If I had an actual secretary I would set out my calligraphy nib pens and an ink well. On my list of things to buy is a desk pad that looks like the desk mats from the days of fountain pens, so I can eliminate a mouse pad

That makes the desk my space, I still don't have a chair so I'm borrowing from the dining set, I don't really know what I want in a chair, I'm thinking a student style one so that its unobtrusive for the rest of the room. But for creative influence now you have to examine the rest of your space or room. Minimize the extra furniture, if you had anything else in your space, weigh whether or not it helps you in your writing. It is a little bit of a struggle because I cant do half of what I would do if I had an office my printer for instance has to be tucked away in the basement or attached to a roommate's computer, but decoratively speaking I do have two walls that I can play with.

On the wall my desk is facing already hangs a favorite piece of art depicting the transparent image of a woman praying in a canyon with a lone tree behind her (description doesn't do it justice, its chalk and charcoal, water color..) I'll likely hang a small shelf below the picture so I can set out some crystals. The wall to the left of this space includes several built in shelves, and my roommates give me carte blanche when it comes to setting things out and decorating, so I will clean out the shelves and tuck in a few books that I love, some bottles and statues and set up my altare musa on the lowest shelf. With statuary and the like on the upper shelves. This will sufficiently claim the space.

Altare Musa? That is an Altar to the Muse, which has been something I have indulged for a long time, it feels right, and it takes many different forms to reflect the well that I draw creativity from.. basically a shelf with items that inspire on it. This time it will hold my copy of Peter Pan (the book), my Brian Froud art books, my Moroccan inspired glass bottles, cut geode book ends, the willow tree figurine that embodies creativity to me, so "Muse" and I'll back light it with fairy lights (christmas lights).

I'm very fond of a Romani/Gypsy/Bohemian/Moroccan feel to my creative space, but since this is a common room I have to try to stick with the neutrals and blues from the rest of the space, or things that won't look terrible with it.

If I'm in the mood I'll set out my wine decanter, or make a cup of tea or coffee, my vape (electronic cigarette). In the drawer goes headache medication, my inhaler and the assorted Hershey mini-candy bars, ande's mints, a protein bar and cough drops. Or at least that's the plan. I'll post pictures after everything comes and I get it set up.

Hopefully having my own space set up the way I want it, will start to push my creative buttons. rebuilding from scratch isn't easy. But if the length of this post is any indicator, its a start.