Dealing with the passing of a loved one is never easy. In my case, I was not particularly close with my mother. I loved her, we had a ton in common, and I admired her. But she hadn't been a fixture in my life since I was thirteen.
Her death was unexpected, she never told any of us kids that anything was wrong. So when the call came in at 9 pm from an unknown number, I very nearly declined to answer it, then the 307 area code registered and I thought "That's Wyoming, maybe Mom has a new number." You see mom changed her number a lot. The coroner broke the news and I was left to inform my siblings and find my way across the country in order to clean up her house (she was renting) and attend to her belongings.
Let me tell you, that phrase "I was not particularly close.." normally I would ascribe that to just about everyone in my family. I was the only girl so I never had much in common with my brothers, I still hold that my father is the most sexist man I have ever known. And while it is easy to say that my family and I aren't close, that wasn't always the case, we were the poor family in a rich neighborhood so in a lot of ways my siblings and I were forced to grow up close because we were isolated. And in the time following my mothers death, never have I ever been more grateful to have these four wonderful men who are my brothers in my life.
I had planned on handling all the details alone, I knew that at least two of my brothers were planning on showing up to help, but I arrived two days ahead of them with the hope of getting a fast start. However, plans don't usually work out 100% as we intend and when I arrived in Wyoming the situation was just so heartbreaking. I called my older brother in Utah and filled him in on everything, and in spite of just having gotten home from a funeral in Oregon he got off the phone with me and drove through terrible winter conditions in order to get to me in Wyoming because it was "wrong" to have me there by myself. This was really fantastic because two of my other brothers my oldest brother flew from California to Denver and encountered the same blizzard during his drive which delayed him another day, and my little brother who was driving up from Texas hit the same storm. My older brother Ian was prepared to drive out from Washington but my oldest brother talked him out of it, he was available by phone and facebook messenger for every major decision and on point to get paperwork signed and returned to Wyoming within hours of any request.
So this post is more than a shout out to my brothers in recognition of what has shaped my idyllic image of family. I am back home in Michigan a little more than a month later, my Mom's milk glass collection and cremated remains have joined the things in my writing area, and I have a new respect for all things family.
